The patient's family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say.
"Things don't look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves."
"Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives.
"For a female brain, $500,000.
Some of the younger female relatives tried to look shocked, but all the women nodded in understanding, and a few actually smirked.
Then the patient's daughter asked,
"A standard pricing practice,"
For a male brain, $200,000."
"Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?"
said the head of the team.....
"Men's brains have to be marked down because they are used."
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He finally went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
A month later, the elderly gentleman went back to the doctor and the doctor said,
To which the gentleman replied,
"Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
"Oh, I haven't told my family yet doctor,
I just sit around and listen to the conversations
and so far,
I've changed my will three times!"
Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work.
Every morning for 15 years, Martha says,
Before her husband gets up, she creeps upstairs and places the turkey innards in his pajama bottoms, giggling to herself.
Well, later that morning, Bob wakes up and goes through his morning ritual.
He screams as he goes running into the bathroom. Martha laughs, but becomes concerned, after noticing that Bob has been in the bathroom for 3 hours.
She runs upstairs, and is about to knock on the door, when Bob opens up, pale as a ghost.
He says,
"One of these days, you're gonna fart your guts out!"
One Thanksgiving morning, Martha's preparing the turkey and gets an idea.
"You were right. You were right. I did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God and these two fingers, I got them back up there again."
...for MORE
HUMOUR!!!