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- Soap & Water



Soap & Water

A minister was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners who he knew as being an unkempt housekeeper.

When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life.

"Were these dishes ever washed?" he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime.

She replied, "They're as clean as soap and water could get them".

He felt a bit apprehensive, but blessed the food anyway and started eating.

It was really delicious and he said so, despite the dirty dishes.

When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside and yelled,

"Here Soap! Here Water!"




There was a church where the preacher and the song leader were not getting along.
This began to spill over into the worship service.

One week the preacher preached on commitment, and how we should dedicate ourselves to service.
The song leader then led the song...
I Shall Not Be Moved.

The next Sunday, the preacher preached on giving and how we should gladly give to the work of the Lord.
The song leader then led the song...
Jesus Paid It All.

The next Sunday, the preacher preached on gossiping and how we should watch our tongues.
The song leader then led the song...
I Love To Tell The Story.

The preacher became very disgusted over the situation, and the next Sunday he told the congregation he was considering resigning.
The song leader then led the song...
Oh, Why Not Tonight.

As it came to pass, the preacher resigned and the next week informed the church that it was Jesus that led him there and it was Jesus that was taking him away.
The song leader then led the song...
What A Friend We Have in Jesus.




A young woman brings home her fiance to meet her parents.

After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man.

The father invites the fiance to his study for a drink.

"So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man.

"I am a Torah scholar." he replies.

"A Torah scholar. Hmmmmm," the father says. "admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she's accustomed to?"

"I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us."

"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asks the father.

"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "God will provide for us."

"And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?"

"Don't worry, sir God will provide," replies the young man.

The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions, the young idealist insists that God will provide.

Later, the mother asks,
"How did it go, Honey?"

The father answers,
"He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I'm God."