HUMOUR

On this page you will find...

- Army of the Lord

- Atheism Pays!

- Aren't I Blessed?


Army of the Lord

Jack was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is, to shake hands.

The preacher grabbed Jack by the hand and pulled him aside.

The Pastor said to him,
"You need to join the Army of the Lord!"  

Jack replied,
"I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."

  Pastor questioned,
"How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"

 Jack whispered back,
"I'm in the secret service."


Atheism Pays!

There was a Christian lady who lived next door to an atheist.

Everyday, when the lady prayed, the atheist guy could hear her. He thought to himself, "She sure is crazy, praying all the time like that. Doesn't she know there isn't a God?"

Many times while she was praying, he would go to her house and harass her, saying "Lady, why do you pray all the time? Don't you know there is no God?"

But she kept on praying.

One day, she ran out of groceries. As usual, she was praying to the Lord explaining her situation and thanking Him for what He was gonna do.

AS USUAL, the atheist heard her praying and thought to himself. "Hmph...I'll fix her."

He went to the grocery store, bought a whole bunch of groceries, took them to her house, dropped them off on the front porch, rang the door bell and then hid in the bushes to see what she would do.

When she opened the door and saw the groceries, she began to praise the Lord with all her heart, jumping, singing and shoutin' everywhere!

The atheist then jumped out of the bushes and told her, "You ol' crazy lady, God didn't buy you those groceries, I bought those groceries!"

Well, she broke out and started running down the street, shouting and praising the Lord.

When he finally caught her, he asked what her problem was...

She said, "I KNEW THE LORD WOULD PROVIDE ME WITH SOME GROCERIES, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS GONNA MAKE THE DEVIL PAY FOR THEM!


Aren't I Blessed?

A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband.

Now he was slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.

When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he said,
"You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you gave me support.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side...
You know what?"

"What dear?" She asks.

"I think you bring me bad luck."


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