On this page you will find...

- MERGERS to DREAM about

- Only in America

- Thermos for a Blonde

MERGERS to DREAM about...

This came from the San Jose Mercury News:
A chuckle combo today, from faithful contributor Carolin Combs...some mergers we can dream about:

Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace & Co. merge to become...

Hale Mary Fuller Grace.

Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become...


3M and Goodyear merge to become...


John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become...

Deere Abi.

Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become...

Zip Audi Do Da.

Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become...

Honey I'm Home.

Only in America...

Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

Only in people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke.

Only in banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage.

Only in we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures".

Thermos for a Blonde

A blonde went to the store and saw this silver shiny thing.
She asked what it was and the clerk told her it was a thermos.
She asked what a thermos was and the clerk said it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.

Thinking this was a great invention she bought one and took it to work.

Her boss, who was also a blonde, came in and saw it sitting on her desk.
"What's that shiny silver thing?" she asked.
The other blonde explained it was a thermos and kept hot things hot and cold things cold etc.

"So what do you have in it?" asked the boss.

"Two cups of coffee and a popcicle." replied the blonde.